Monday, July 27, 2015

Navigating Online Dating (Mini-series, episode 4)

“How to Know if Online Dating is for You”

     Hey y’all, I’m back!  So, this post will be “How to Know if Online Dating is for You!”.  Yeah, that’s right..it’s NOT for everyone who wants to try it out.  Certain personalities will not be able to handle the ins and outs of online dating and will, more likely than not, end up a very damaged individual.  Not because of others, but because of themselves! So, I will now attempt to list a few character traits I would definitely advise against trying the online dating scene.  This list shouldn’t be long but it will be informative!  Let’s get started…

1.       If you are more insecure than normal.  How do you gauge this?  If you believe someone you contact online should only have conversations with you before any commitment has been verbalized OR if you get upset and angry because he/she is chatting with other men/women, then online dating is NOT for you!  You see, the purpose of online dating is to MEET NEW PEOPLE!  If you meet someone on the street and only had a few conversations with them, you wouldn’t expect them to not speak to anyone else just because he spoke to you, right?  Even if you feel as if there's a special vibe going on, when online dating, your options should always remain open up and until you and the individual make and agree to the desire of exclusivity.

2.       You are too naïve without any discernment.  Folks lie. Period.  If you can’t discern a possible lie or are not able to read between the lines, this online thing is NOT for you!  There are many people online just waiting for someone too naïve to question logic.  If you feel it’s ok to give a stranger you’ve only spoken to over the phone or seen a few times, your money….you’re too naïve. You will be taken advantage of, money will be flim-flammed from you, you will be a victim of some form.  Point blank. Period.  

3.       Your self-esteem is missing in action.  If you feel the only way to get attention is to post pictures of yourself naked/half naked or that you need to pose in some over-rated playboy stance, this online thing isn’t for you either.  Low self-esteem can be spotted by predators a mile and a half away.  Showing your ass isn’t being “daring” or “hot”, it’s a visual of total low self-esteem because when in the process of trying to put your best self forward, and you feel your best asset is your butt, boobs, tongue…you are lost.  And it shows.  And you should probably get a little life coaching, counseling, or just grow up.  Just as the naïve person will be taken advantage of, so will you.  In the worse way.   

4.       You take things too personally.  With the online positive of “more fish in the sea”, online dating also comes with the “more people to NOT be compatible with” quotient.  Every person you’re interested in will NOT be interested in you.  Some will NOT call you back.  Some will NOT respond to you at all.  Some will actually say, “You’re not what I’m looking for”.  Be ok with that; everyone isn’t made for everyone.  Next!

5.      My final piece of advice to know if you are online dating material is this… If you are desperate for a mate.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t want to meet someone to date, start a relationship with, share your life with…what I’m saying if you are DESPERATE for that someone, you will be hurt unnecessarily.  Know that you are WORTHY.  Know that you don’t have to settle for just anything/one.  Know that, when it’s right, it will happen naturally.  It won’t be forced, you won’t have to second guess yourself, you won’t have to question it.  It will happen.

     Ok, if after reading this you still feel you are safe, then ‘gwon out there child and HAVE FUN!  But also be safe, discerning, and smart!!  ~Toodles!!

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