Sunday, July 19, 2015

Navigating Online Dating, (Mini-series, episode 3)

“How to Spot the Married Folks”

     Ok y’all, this one is going to be a little trickier.  But once you become aware of a few of the “signs”, it will be almost instinctual!  So, as I said in the previous episodes, online dating has all kinds of folks on, just like there are all kinds of folks in the “real world”.  And amongst those folks are the “Creepers”, “Sneakers”, and all the other names used to describe married folks acting single…this will also include those guys that are in live-in type relationships.  I know it used to be easy to spot these people because if you weren’t given a phone number, then you’d assume.  Today, with all of the cell phones and undercover “business” phones, giving out phone numbers is no longer the indicator.  So pay attention now!
1.        If every time you call, he is always on the move, i.e. driving somewhere, having to run out real quick, etc… and after that “run” he hits you with, “Hey, let me call you back”.... he’s probably living with someone.  And that someone could be a wife or a girlfriend.   Mind you, every once in a while, he may speak with you while he’s in the house but if that time is always during the work day or at the same time EVERY time, it’s because wifey works during those hours , so be very aware of the times you speak with him!

2.       If you’ve been communicating for several weeks and he hasn’t even tried to get you to his place, NOT saying you should be going anywhere secluded before you’re comfortable, but a dude will want to show you his space if he’s interested…even if it’s just to get you on his turf.  If that hasn’t happened and all is going well, within a couple/three months, he’s living with someone and/or married.

3.       If he can only meet you on YOUR side of town…..then, he’s in a relationship on HIS side of town.

4.       SUDDEN broken dates….  If he’s making but then, at the last minute, breaking dates, the other woman or wifey has placed last minute dibs on his time on that end.  ..lol…the worse excuse I’ve “heard” was, “Oh, I had a serious allergic reaction and have to go to the hospital”….  The reason “heard” is in quotes is because this came over a text!  What kind of idiot takes the time it takes to text in the midst of an emergency that requires hospitalization??  Even a phone call would have been less timely and less suspicious.

5.       If he can only meet with you during normal work hours…. He’s creeping.

6.       And the last tip for this is:  Check Him Out!  I’m not necessarily saying do a full investigation on anyone (save a little bit of the mystery!) but at minimum, do a Facebook search!  If he’s smart, he will “block” you so you can’t see him on social media but, you are smarter!  Borrow that trusted girlfriend’s computer, under her Facebook page, and look him up!  There will you find all kinds of lovey-dovey pictures of him and wifey…and unfortunately, she doesn’t have a clue he’s on an online dating site.  If he’s a true dog, you’ll be able to tell by HER posts on his page….if she responds after EVERY remark another female makes to even give the simplest of comments, she doesn’t really trust him and knows he’s a dog.  Ex.  A friend of his compliments his newly posted picture, but wifey/girlfriend immediately responds back for him with, “Yes, he looks like that when he’s thinking of me!”  …as Neyo says….She Knows.   
      Ok, dear Readers, I’m going to leave you with those few tips on how to recognize a married and/or otherwise “committed” man on online dating sites  These are not the only signs so you must stay on your Ps and Qs!  And do be careful out there! 

Next episode:  “How To Know if Online Dating is for You!”

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